The Process of Leaving
by sififantasygirl
Summary: Maybe it was time for a change. Bruce obviously wasn't going to change controlling every little thing, no matter how big or small, so maybe this was Dick's time to turn the tables. He had always planned on leaving Robin behind sooner or later. Maybe now was that time. Rated for language.


Rating for language, because everyone on the Young Justice team is a teenager,

and teenagers don't really hold back when in comes to language.

* * *

Dick slammed his door shut, sliding down against it and burying his head in his hands in a desperate attempt to keep himself from putting a hole through the wall. He could feel his hands were trembling in anger as he tangled them in his hair, and Dick squeezed his eyes shut as Bruce's condemning words rang through his head.

"_You've become a liability!"_

"_I should never have allowed this."_

"_You're just a child."_

Almost unconsciously, his body started to curl in on his injured side, where a thick, white bandage was covering a sluggishly bleeding bullet hole that had pierced his chest, a few inches down from his heart. Batman had been furious, he recalled dimly, and had immediately whipped the remaining mercenaries asses, then proceeded to carry him to the Batmobile. Somewhere in the ride from the scene to the cave Robin had blacked out, only awakening when Bruce carried him from the car to a gurney, where Leslie and Alfred were already waiting.

He had finally awoken from the surgery a few hours ago, and Bruce wasted no time before verbally laying into him for taking a bullet for Batman. Dick had refused to be bullied, putting up a fight that, in another world, would have made Bruce proud of him.

_"This is my house, your home! I took you in, sheltered you, and I gave you everything. If you don't like it, you can leave."_

Could he really do it? he wondered as he leaned his head back up against the door. Dick had been saving his money in a decent sized bank account all his life, and he certainly had enough to spend on a small apartment for a month, at least before he found a job. In fact, a few days before, he'd been doing online research and found a series of apartments that wasn't too badly priced. One was in Manhattan, another in New York, and the other in Bludhaven. Any one of those cities would be a good place to establish himself away from Gotham.

Maybe this wasn't a bad thing.

Lately, even living in the manor was a struggle. He was tired, and not the kind of tired that sleep could cure, but a bone-aching weariness that made him feel old, so old, and so tired of life. Contradictory there was a fire burning deep in his chest, frustration, bitterness, and everything else he hid away on a daily basis, mostly aimed at Bruce, that no amount of training could take away. The cracks had started to show even to his teammates, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Even the littlest things seemed to set him off these days, snapping at people who didn't deserve it, and even going as far as making Megan cry the other day. On his worst days, he loathed himself for it, turning the hatred inward, until the tiredness, the burning, and loathing were all at war with each other. To say it was tearing him apart would be the understatement of the century.

Maybe it was time for a change.

Bruce obviously wasn't going to change grinding on his ass about _every little thing_, no matter how big or small, so maybe this was Dick's time to turn the tables. He had always planned on leaving Robin behind sooner or later, maybe now it was the time.

Maybe it was time to step out of his mentor's shadow.

Determined, Dick pushed himself to his feet, stifling a whimper as his battered body spasmed against his will. He doubled over, biting down hard on his lip as the pain shot through his side. As he stood there, his years of training slowly took over, and he slowly forced himself to breathe through the pain, and after a moment, made himself stand up again, although this time more slowly.

He moved around the room carefully so he wouldn't aggravate the wound again, grabbing clothes, artifacts, and anything else he might miss, and stuck it all in his duffle bag. Looking around the room one final time, he quietly opened and slipped out the window, creeping down to where his faithful motorcycle was waiting for him in the gravel driveway.

* * *

"Arty, why is Robin here? I thought he wasn't coming for at least two more days," Wally whispered to Artemis, cautiously eyeing Robin to make sure he didn't overhear from where he was lying down on the couch about ten feet away, watching reality tv and covered in blankets.

"He and Batman had a fight," Artemis whispered back just as quietly, "and he said Batman wouldn't stop trying to control him and he'd had enough, so he left."

"Damn."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Is he gonna stay here?"

Artemis shook her head. "Naw, at least, not for long. He's got this apartment in Bludhaven all lined up for him, and he's moving there next week. He told me so. He's only staying here for the time being."

"Shit, I need to let Roy know," Wally said, whipping out his phone, his hands blurring as he typed faster than any normal human being could see before slipping the phone back into his pocket.

"Why?" Artemis couldn't help but ask.

"So we can convince Robin to go back to the manor and at least say goodbye."

* * *

"Why not?!" Roy demanded, throwing his hands in the air. "This is driving you insane, and I guarantee it's driving Bats insane, and if you don't do something now, you're probably not going to speak to him for at least a couple of years!"

"Maybe that's the point," Dick snapped at him.

"Aw, come one, Dick, you don't really want that," Wally said, trying fruitlessly to calm him down.

"No, I do! I am sick of his righteous quest, sick of his perfection, and sick of him always finding something to yell at me about! I am done! It's over! The Dynamic Duo is _finished_!"

"So what, you're just going to lay down and take it?!" Roy challenged. "That's not the Dick I know. The Dick I know would never take anything lying down, he'd stand up and face it like the man I thought him to be! Maybe Bruce was right, maybe you are just a child."

"Fuck you!" Dick snapped while unconsciously straightening up, then immediately regretted it as his side throbbed in pain, causing him to recoil protectively around his wound.

Wally sent a worried look to Roy as their friend gasped almost inaudibly as he strained his injury. "What about Alfred?" Wally suggested when Dick didn't say anything else. "Did you say goodbye to him?"

Dick shook his head without looking up.

"Come on, you know the man practically thinks himself a grandfather to you," Wally said. "Don't you think you ought to go back and at _least_ say goodbye to the dude?"

"What's the point?" Dick asked quietly.

"The point?" Roy repeated incredulously. "The point is closure, leaving the door open and not completely burning all of your bridges. You know how many times I've wished I had a chance to say goodbye? Especially with our job. Each day could be our last. You know that. Hell, you told me that, years ago. You really want Alfred's last memory of you to be you slinking out the window, too ashamed to say goodbye? Huh?"

Dick swore at him.

"My my, aren't you lacking creativity today?" Roy said, not even blinking.

Dick opened his mouth to say something else, but Wally beat him to it. "Dick, don't you want to see Alfred?"

He snapped his mouth shut.

"Well?" Roy demanded. "Do you or don't you?"

"I do, but…" Dick trailed off, biting his lip.

"But what?"

He sighed, studying his hands for a moment, letting the silence hang in the air. "I can't take him…rejecting me."

"But this is no way to live," Wally pointed out stubbornly. "Not in fear of rejection. Roy's right, the Dick I know would never live in fear of any kind."

"Well maybe I'm not who you think I am."

Roy gave him a disgusted look. "You mean you're a coward?"

"No!"

"So go. Prove me wrong."

"I don't need to prove anything to you," Dick snarled.

Wally jumped in to try and prevent any more damage. "Dick, we're just trying to back you up."

"Really."

"I swear."

"Jesus, I'll _come_ with you," Roy said, exasperated, "if you'll agree to go."

Dick shot Roy a skeptical look. "You're not shitting me? Cause that seems like that kind of jackassed thing you'd do; set me up, then fail to show up in the end."

"Kid, knock it off. If I say I'm coming then Jesus himself could not stop me," Roy said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Almost a month later, Roy really wished he hadn't agreed to come.

Dick hadn't really fought Roy since they set a date to visit the manor, but Roy could practically feel a storm brooding around the younger male as the date drew nearer and nearer. He was almost relieved to set off on Dick's bike earlier, since it meant putting an end to this pouting session. Tension had been rising in Mount Justice, as if almost feeding off the deep seeded anger Robin was trying to keep to himself, but despite his efforts was leaking over to everyone he interacted with, even if they didn't exactly know what was going on.

Roy eyed Dick with trepidation as the two of them slipped into the manor through the back kitchen door, which was almost never locked. He knew from the jittery way Dick was holding himself that he was already regretting agreeing to come back to apologize, even to Alfred, but now that he was here, he was determined to see it through.

Holding back, Roy let Dick lead the way through the labyrinth of rooms and hallways that the manor was composed of. He moved with the knowledge of someone who had lived there, and Roy was content to follow him, now that his _own_ advice was being followed. Besides, Dick would have the best chance of finding Alfred than anyone else.

As they passed down yet another hallway, Roy was pleased to realize that he recognized this place. Two years ago, around Christmas time, Roy and Wally had chased Dick down here, tied him up, then attacked him with silly string and managed to cover him with layers until he looked like he was a fly trapped in a spider's pink and green web. Luckily for the two of them, a dinner party had been going on at the time, and they'd untangled Dick before Bruce or Alfred found out.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?"

The small smile that had been hovering on Roy's lips quickly died as he and Dick spun around to face this new voice.

A boy no older than thirteen stood accusingly, hands on his hips and a deep scowl on his face. He was only a little shorter than Dick was, and had long, slicked black hair."What the hell are you doing?" he repeated, his body position shifting into one that more resembled a street fighter's. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Who are _you_?" Roy demanded harshly, not moving from his position.

The kid lifted his head until his nose was practically waving in the air. "I am Jason Todd, ward of Bruce Wayne."

Next to him, Dick stifled a gasp.

"Jason?" Bruce's voice sounded muffled. "Is that you…?" he trailed off as he came around the corner and saw Roy and Dick on one side, and Jason facing them with his fists brought up to almost his face.

Roy stole a cautious glance at Dick. Betrayal and hurt were written all over his face, his eyes flashing such despair that it almost physically hurt to look at him. Dick gave another strangled sound, then shook his head. "I shouldn't have come. Come on, Roy, let's go."

"Dick, wait," Bruce said, reaching out and stepping quickly, managing to grab Dick's arm.

Dick yanked his arm out of Bruce's grip. "Wait?! For what?!"

"Let me explain!"

"No, Bruce, _no_!" he stopped himself and laughed, maybe a little too loudly and hysterically to be normal. "You know, I almost let myself be convinced, just for a minute, that you genuinely missed me, and wanted me back."

"Dick—"

"But I guess, that, that was just another delusion in a long line, huh?"

"Dick, what do you want from me?" Bruce asked, his hands gesturing wildly. "You wanted me to tell you I missed you? Are you still a child? I've moved on. That's what adults do."

"No, Bruce, you didn't move on, you replaced me!" Emotion choked Dick's voice, and he was forced to look downwards for a minute in order to collect himself. "I'm sorry I let myself be talked into coming."

"Dick, look—"

"See you around, Mr. Wayne," he looked at the hallway with regret. "Tell Alfred I said not to expect me for Christmas."

Roy turned and had to jog to keep up with the younger boy as he stalked swiftly down the hallway, as if he couldn't get out of this house fast enough. Privately, Roy couldn't blame him.

Even for Bruce Wayne, that was a pretty shitty thing to do.

* * *

"How'd it go?" Megan nervously asked Roy in the kitchen.

Roy made a strangled noise. "I may as well have convinced Robin to never to go back to his home, if that's what you're asking."

"What happened?" Wally asked, leaning forward on the counter while simultaneously devouring five sandwiches.

"There was a kid there claiming to be, well, Batman's new kid. I think Batman's trying to replace Robin."

"Oh dear," Megan said.

Wally frowned. "How'd, uh, _Robin_ take it?"

"Not good," Roy admitted. "He didn't want to talk to me. I'm sure he'll come around with time, though. Maybe one of you guys could try."

"Sure," Megan said, a frown knitting her eyebrows together. "Maybe."

* * *

After two or three days of living at Mount Justice, Dick was able to move into the apartment in Bludhaven he'd previously scouted out. Living on his own was everything Dick had dreamed and more. He could leave for patrol whenever he wanted, set his own dinner out, skip a meal if he felt like it, and there was no one who constantly pestered him to clean.

On the other hand, since he only grabbed a single duffle bag that night before he'd slipped out the window that final time, Dick found himself at a personal loss of clothes, artifacts, and food. Roy helped out as much as he could, discretely adding whatever Ollie wouldn't miss to Dick's waning bank account, and Wally and Roy would constantly invite themselves over with boxes of takeout to make sure their friend was eating regularly, because even before Dick left, he would always forget to eat, but then at least he'd had Alfred to keep reminding him. Now the duty fell to his two best friends instead. To say they took their position lightly would be like to say Batman took his place as Gotham's only protector lightly.

He had also enrolled in Bludhaven's Police Academy, which Roy privately thought was one last 'screw you' to Bruce. Dick was well aware that Bruce was still keeping tabs on him through means that Dick might never find out, and joining the police force had been one thing that Bruce had absolutely refused he do, as both Roy and Wally were aware of.

Life slowly rolled on. Dick was speeding through the academy, thriving in his environment. After six months, the boy who's introduced himself as Jason Todd appeared on tv through a home video as the new Robin, the reporters remarking that this must be a new fellow, since the old Robin would have been about eighteen or nineteen by that point. Thanksgiving and Christmas slid by in a blur, masked by the storm that being a new vigilante, Nightwing, had brought up. Speculation about this new hero had been occurring, yet so far, the name Batman and Robin had not been brought up, to which Dick was eternally grateful.

Through all this, contact between Dick and Bruce remained virtually nonexistent.

Dick had also been pulling back from his own team at Young Justice, though not for lack of wanting to keep connected. He simply had no more time in any of his days now, and since Jason had joined the team, well, let's just say it had become less of a safe haven to go to. That being said, Jason was actually growing on him, once you got past his rough exterior. Unfortunately, Dick was pulling back from the team because he simply could not be everywhere at once, and he'd already prioritized that the police academy and patrolling came first.

However much he tried to deny it, Dick missed both Alfred and Bruce. He missed Bruce's quiet assurance out in the field that he had his back, and Alfred's calm persona when Dick was wounded regardless. Nowadays, he was forced to watch his own back in the field, and when wounds were too much for him to just stick on a few butterfly strips and call it good, he had to retrieve Wally from who-knows-where to help him to the nearest hospital and back up whatever made up story about falling off a roof or something.

God help him, he also missed Alfred's home cooked meals. God knows Dick was getting tired of take out, top ramen, and cereal. He missed training with Bruce in the Batcave, the deep philosophical conversations they had in the Batmobile, and the insights Bruce always gave him on everything and everyone. Somehow, when he was younger, he envisioned himself graduating proudly and stepping away from home slowly, still keeping contact with everyone, and even being able to occasionally come to Bruce for help on this one case or another.

Guess what you wish for isn't always what you get.

But personally, Dick thought what he had wasn't half bad at all. After all, who wouldn't kill to be a secret vigilante, help lead a superhero team, destroy corrupt police members from the inside, and have kickass superhero friends.

Maybe it's not what he envisioned, but in the end, it's really quite okay.

And he can work with that.


End file.
